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The Untold Road

Life remains to be the fire behind every person in the street of wilderness. We came to be strong but quite weak in the field of the unknown. We stand to what we believe in and get hurt to what we never asked for. We unexpectedly forget our shields as if we did not know the war that is coming. As life continues to make its jobs we are caught beyond the borders we made for ourselves. Taking roads to follow is just like picking things we thought we will never need but at some point, we realized it was our lost necessity.

In my younger years, I trained myself to be independent as far as I could. Walk to the darkness as far as I can. And get stronger as long as I am breathing. I can always see myself running in the dark asking and looking for a torch to give some light but deep inside my mind is a thought that there will be no more hope in every sad step I take. I stand tall as if I was never broken and strong enough as if I never fell.
I stay to what I knew and live with it as life kills the happiness I supposed to have. I knew life is as hard as it can be. I knew I can never have someone to lean on in my bad days. As bad days went through my shaky life, it came to be just an ordinary pain.

As life continues to challenge the time spent in every flash of the camera, I’ve deepen the things I realized. To the unexpected waves, to the worldly craves. To the unknown drops of rain, to the fast-slow speed of train. To the strange intentions of the person, to the different seasons. To the blow of the wind that blinds, to the wounds of the people’s minds. To the high-low humps, to the heart that painfully pumps. To the broken wall, to the one that falls. To the one that breaks, to the perspective that leaks. All of this matters to us even if we took the path of independency or lean the life we have to others. We are always capable of these things.

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The world revolve faster as what it is and life gets harder times sometimes making the scratches of the wounds in pain taking it lots of time to heal as it screams again. I am living the life with the existence that feels like rain. That can only be notice by everybody when they were poured in. Hiding in the clouds through the dark making it harder for them to find. With some lost lightning with strong sparks, I was found stronger than ever before. But it never change the fact as I was hiding and filling the cold lonely vulnerable space owning the life I had that sometimes defined as race. I am strong and full of strength in the eyes of everyone bud they didn’t know that I was shattered slowly in the room of silence trying to build the highest possible resilience as a protection to the broken-down dreams of a falling person full of unsaid screams like me.

Shackle for so many times that it gets tighter in my spirit. Drowning my soul in the corners of such unknown. There are thorns with large chains in my neck that I can hardly breathe. It is bind with strong force as if I’m trapped in the path I chose to take. I always put others first to save them from deep sorrow but I was too blind to see the strings in my hand and ankles like I can never be free. I am chasing my own freedom without the chance of possibility underneath this will of saving people from the danger of sadness. But I ended up being the prisoner in my own vicinity and loudly shouting in silence.

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I was alone in my mind, I am independent but sometimes, as the stars hear me, they lighted so many ways that made me catch myself in every downfall. I was about to drown myself trying to rise others for them to make it through with life but then I thought no one will ever save me from the holes sadness made. I should build my own land of steels that can protect me to the raging waves of pain, sadness, depression, loneliness and anxiety. I am now building my empire as I hold my pen that can write my story someday. I packed the things to travel the road I never expected to sculpt me into a whole new being.

At the end of the day, as the highs and lows took me to the longer understanding of what life is, I still appreciate the road I took. I may have seen it as an unknown one but it took me to the field where I can shout “IT’S ME!” I can hear the thought of being myself. Being real to what I am and saying no to what I am not. Tracing paths we are curious about is not a mistake but an opportunity to know what we can sail and how long we can sail to the ocean of challenges and struggles. I, as I took this unknown road full of independency, I am really grateful. I may have scratches and wounds, fall most of the time, and catches breathe in longer roads that I take, I knew that I took the less traveled road but I will never regret it because being different is beautiful. I am an adventurer in my own place. I will sail to catch my dreams and be the hand that holds people in the hole of sadness. I will soar higher in the track I chose to have and some days may be good or bad it’s just the way we handle things like how we handle our lives.

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